Didn't want it to mean that much to me

It's sad. Sad and dumb. McKeel people suck big time. They have nothing better to do than pass crap around. Most of which is not true. And everyoen believes everyone. It's not cool. And it became quite old a long time ago.

I wish I could do something to help my friends that are sad. Mary is sad and I wish more than anything I could help her. But I don't know what to do. I don't even know how to help myself. Everything has been turning to crap lately.

I feel like screaming. But I can not. You know this past weekend I was in a room full of people and it was loud and people we moving everywhere but yet I felt like I was the only one there. I somehow totally blocked everyone out and sat there thinking I was all alone. When I realized that I wasn't I was a little weirded out. I dunno. I have been doing that a bunch lately. At school a lot too.

I don't think Mary's parents like me anymore cause Gabe found out...from one of his many friends that have so many grand things to say about everyone...that I was supposively doing something bad earlier this week. When I wasn't and he told her parents that I was without knowing the truth and now they aren't too fond of Mary having me as a best bud cause I don't go to church and crap.

Hopefully I will have a much better day tomorrow. After school spring break is here. Woop woop. Yea, I am hanging with Allyse and stuff after she gets off work at 9 tomorrow night. Then she is staying the night. I hope we have fun.

Tomorrow Kirstie is going to a show and then to Erin's house with people to have some sort of party. Brian is supposed to be going. And Malakye too. I would go but I am hanging with Allyse. I don't know if I would want to go anyway though. I don't like Erin and I just don't feel like talking to Brian right now it seems.

I hate school. We get report cards tomorrow. I don't think I did good at all this time. My grades are shit. I am really doing bad this semester. It seems all I do is find a way to get out of going to school or class or cheat on something or not do my homework at all or until the period before its due. I'm sick of it. I need this break. It will be over before I know it though I'm sure. I need summer to be here.

I talked to Rhys. I might go visit him in Atlanta still for a couple days. It will be fun times. I have to see his band play he says. I haven't ever before. I can't wait to hang with him. He is really awesome. I'm real happy that we are talking again. He makes me laugh a bunch and makes me feel nice. I like that.

Hmmmm. I'm bored. And tired. Megan wants me to skip with her tomorrow. Leah asked me to skip with her too and go to the beach. Mom told me she'd tell me in the morning if she wanted me too. She is in a pissy mood tonight. We got a letter saying if we don't change things around here as far as being too loud and a bunch of other crap the old people around here complain about that we are going to start getting fined or they will call the police. They also said evicted but I don't think they can do that since Mom owns the place. I hate this place and wish we could move but we can't Mom says. So she is in a bad mood. And doesn't know if she wants my buds over to watch movies tomorrow since it's more than one person. And more than person means we will be too loud. Which isn't true. Darn that letter. And darn her. If she messes up my plans I will be very upset. I have cleaned this house spotless. Oh well I wont think about it.

Joshua just IMed me. He checked me out of school today after 6th period and gave me a ride home. He rocks. Becky got mad at him or something for me leaving my clothes that Meg returned to me in his car last week. I guess she thought he had some girl besides her that left her clothes on accident.

If I go to school tomorrow and go to the kareoke contest thing that he will dedicate the song he does to me. Haha. Awesome. It is the sweater song. If I don't go though he is telling everyone I'm gay. I told him deal. Haha.

Alrighty well I'm off to bed I guess. Goodnight.

-Britt

"...I didn't want it to mean that much to me..."

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