All by myself

I am bored out of my mind. So I come here. I haven't updated really in a while I don't believe. Some stuff has been going on I suppose the the past week or so. I will tell later.

EVERYONE needs to go read my guestbook. Sign it if you'd like also. I don't care. But you have to read the latest entry. I have no clue who it is. It's sooo freaky. There are crazy people out there. I'm sure glad I'm not best friends with any of them. Hahaha.

I am not going to sleep tonight. It's almost 4am. Yea, I'm just not tired. think I will get ready for school around 7ish or so. I need to take a shower. Gosh, I haven't since like Friday after school, yuck. But yea I have to get to school at 8ish. I'm helping the wonderful Mary with her math. She missed a lot because she was very sick. And since I took it last year and I am such a great friend I am going there early to help her learn it or something I guess. No clue why we didn't do this during the weekend. Maybe because school sucks. Yea I think I still have english and critical thinking and science homework to do, ick. Why do I wait to do these things until a couple hours before school? Who knows...maybe, because school sucks.

Well this weekend was okay. Friday I had school...blah...then Mom picked me and Kirst up from school and we dropped Kirstie off at my house to watch the kids for like an hour. Haha, poor Kirstie, but then we went to Tom's house and I washed his car for him. And he payed me $100. Isn't that crazy? He told me it was for New York. I don't even feel like going to New York anymore. We leave the 17th though. But yea, he gave me that much money just for washing his car. I wonder how much he would dish out for a prostitute or something. Nevermind, gross. Ick. Yuck. Why did I think of that. I am disgusting. He's old and my mom is like in love with him. Nah, actually he isn't that old, and not really bad looking, but that's still gross to think about.

Thinking of throwing up Mac told me Friday at school that tomorrow I will be doing the Mac Factor. When you have to see who can drink the most milk from a gallon or something. Yea, I was into it before. Like sure, I will do it. I will get outta class, it will be interesting, and I do actually like milk a lot. But then Megan and everyone else told me about how everyone is throwing up and stuff. And then Mary tells me this weekend about how it is most likely whole milk. And that's just disgusting. Ha, I love milk but like skim milk. That's what I am used to. That's all Mom buys. So I will probably throw up for sure tomorrow. Nice thing to think about. I wonder if we are doing it before or after lunch. I wonder if I shouldn't eat anything. Hmmm.

Anyway though, after I washed his car and we went back home...Mom let me drive to his house and back by the way, hehe...but we went home and I took a shower and then got ready to go and around 7 something Jen came and got Kirstie and I and we went to the Death After Texas show at Pepboys. Lots of people were there. It wasn't even in an actual place and there were more than double the usual amount of people at their shows. But that's neat. Sucks for them that they didn't charge anything though. It would have been hard to though because it was in a parking lot. And maybe that was why so many people came...because it was free. I gave them a dollar though. Mac asked me to give a donation and that's like all I had. The rest was Jen's money. She even payed for my dinner. So I felt bad but at least I gave them something.

Ummm I didn't pay much attention to the bands that played in the beginning really. They were okay I guess. Probably not that great though since none of it really made me want to listen. Jen let me drive Mary and her to Walgreens so Mary could go to the bathroom. We could have walked but she let me drive cause she is so awesome. Hehe. Then she let me drive Mark around. Cause I told him he missed my driving and he wanted to ride in the car with me. Haha. So I gave him a ride. This isn't Mr. Hanifan though, this is little Mark, Mark Sindara or something like that. Yea, the other Mark didn't talk to me at all :o( I don't like him at all anymore and I didn't expect him to at all really but it would have been nice. I thought he was a realy cool guy. I guess not though. Brian talked to me for a few minutes. I gave him his mixed CD I made for him and he gave me my Ataris CDs back. Fun times. Oh, and I talked to him for a minute near Walgreens. Hehe, he saw my driving a little. Now that was def. fun times. Ha, I love to drive. It is so fun. It's not really a big deal I guess but it excites me a bunch.

I saw a lot of people there I knew. Don't care to mention a bunch of them. But I saw Ashley Connor there. Which was freaky. Ha, I haven't seen her since like 7th grade. And we were best buds in the 4th and 5th grade. That was fun. The old days.

Mary was there! Oh my Mary. Hehe. I hadn't hung out with her in like a week. Haha, which isn't that long but for me it's like a year. She was sick for so long and the weekend before she got sick was homecoming and I spent that weekend with Deven and Kirstie. Wow, I don't think I wrote about my weekend with them. I really haven't written in a while. Oh well, I have plenty of time to talk about everything.

Oh yes, Mary was at the show also. I hung out with her. Which I was a little weird about because Kirstie was there also and she was with me, but Laura and Jason and Tim...ick, and Wesley and people she could hang with were there so I didn't think much of it. I hung out with her some though. But for the most part I stayed with Mary and Jen through the show. I don't think Jen enjoyed herself. I felt very bad. But I know she still loves me so it's okay.

Jonathan was there. My homie. Haha, yea well I talked to him for a bit. He thinks Mary is beyond crazy. He happened to walk by us in the car when we when just sitting there. Well, I was just sitting there in the passenger side. Mary thought it would be funny to climb ontop of me and straddle me. Haha, it was a little funny I guess but only because Jonathan walked by and saw us. Ha, he definitely stopped to see what was going on. Haha, I love Mary, without her everything would be oh so boring.

Death After Texas did good I think. They were the best there. I used to sometimes think I maybe liked them a bunch cause I liked Mark and I was a little biast, but I don't like him anymore. And I do really like them. So that's neato. I think they are a really good band. I like their music a bunch. I am friends with Brian though, so I could be biast but I doubt it. I truly think they are a good band and maybe since Brian is my buddy thats the reason why I really hope they make it big or become very successful :o)

After the show though Mary, Allyse, David, Kirstie, Jen and I all went to Applebees and ate a late dinner. It was okay. Ha, Kirst and Jen barely talked though. But the food tasted very nice...

Kirstie spent the night with me that night. She stayed online forever waiting for Jonathan to come back form his away message and I fell asleep on the floor by the computer. Haha. Then dorky her doesn't know where to sleep when she is finally ready for bed so she crawls and sleeps right next to me in this extremely small space on the floor between me and the table. Haha, funny stuff. If you knew how my house was set up and how small it was you would probably be laughing right now. But since my house is so small and it is never clean not many people visit so you probably don't know and don't think it is very funny.

Anyway though, then Saturday I got up and I didn't feel too great because I started my period and the kids were getting on my nerves from the moment I woke up. Actually before that when Johnny threw fake spiders at me while I was sleeping because he thought it was funny. Hilarious. But Kacie came and got Kirstie around 4 something and then later that night I was supposed to possibly go to the movies with Kayla and some of her buds but then Mary called and she wanted me to go to Tim's show at some church on the south side. And since she had no one to go with and I kind of didn't want to bother mom and ask her to take me anywhere I went with Mary instead. I haven't talked to Kayla yet since Satuday, I feel bad. I forgot to call her and tell her I wasn't going. I hope she isn't mad at me. So Mary came and got me and I looked like crap and I hadn't showered or anything and I thought I could at her house possibly while she got ready. But we stopped at some bookstore on the way home to her house and spent a lot of time in there so our hour or so time to get ready was limited to like 10 minutes when we got to her house. So I threw on some of her clothes and a jacket and brushed my teeth and stuff and we left. I did my makeup and brushed my hair in the car. Ha, it was definitely not the best I have looked. But oh well.

So we went to the show. A guy named Heath Williamsomething played first and then My Own Sky played. They both did good. There weren't that many people there though. Well after My Own Sky played Mary's new friend Steve? I think that's his name. But whoever he was took us to the gas station to get a drink. Then we went back and when we got there I saw Brian's car. I knew it was his cause of the soccer sticker thing on the back. So I was like 'what the heck? Mary, Brian and them are here, haha.' And since the music was up and he has a 4Runner like Mom does I guess she thought I said my mom was here and she thought I was thinking I would get in trouble or something for riding with that guy we didn't know really. Haha. Well we got out and went back inside. I thought maybe they weren't going to stay because they drove off. But then when we got back in the other band was still setting up so we went back outside to walk until they were ready to play to find Tim or something I guess and I saw Mark. I said hi because we saw him as we went around the corner and he walked straight and didn't say anything back so...I dunno. I don't care anymore really but that's only when I am not around him. If he blows me off like that I kinda care. But not as much as I used to. Now it's just like gosh, he's being a jerk. Before it was like what am I doing wrong? Ha, oh well. I just wont make ANY more attempts to talk to him. I mean that. It's not worth trying to be nice to someone who is going to ignore you and stuff. So whatever.

I said a quick hello to Brian and Evan when we walked by them btu that was about it. Mary was mad. Haha. she quietly cursed to me a bunch before we passed them and when we did pass them she said why does he follow me everywhere?! Haha, meaning Evan. Even though he wasn't following her. He just happens to be a lot of places she is. They don't talk, I don't think she cares anymore, she just doesn't care to be around him really. She was happy though that they saw us there. Because then they knew that we don't only go to their shows. Which I guess she's right. I hope Mark doesn't think I go to their shows because I like him. That wouldn't be cool.

Anyway though we went back inside and watched a little of Farewell to Fashion. I had never heard them. they get into it. Like they jump around and stuff. They sounded good to me. I wasn't paying much attention though. I didn't feel that great anymore and someone was near me on the other side of Mary and it was just bugging me. So when Mary left to give that Steve guy her email address and there wasn't anything but space between me and that person I went over to ask Mary to go outside with me but she didn't want to because she wanted to hear them. And so I went outside by myself. When I first walked out I saw Brian, Evan, and Justin...from My Own Sky...but I wasn't going to talk to them. Justin and Evan don't talk to me. I would have talked to Brian but he was with them and I didn't want to butt in. So I just went out towards the parking lot and sat there and drank my drink. It felt nice. I wasn't feeling that great and it was cold, but the nice kind of cold, like where you aren't freezing but if you didn't have your jacket you would be. So I sat there for like 15 mins or something. And then I went in because my fingers were freezing. And I was getting a little cold then. So I listened to one or two songs from Farewell to Fashion and then Mary asked if I wanted to leave and I said sure and so we did.

Then we went to Wal*Mart and then to her house. And we watched The Princess Bride and then I got online. And talked to Jesus some. And then Brian IMed me. I talked to him for a bit but Mary was telling me I should ask him why he doesn't like to talk to me in person and a bunch of stuff. Because he didn't talk to me that night and because Jesus had said something about them all not liking me or something. But I didn't really want to because we weren't there while they were there very long. And he had said he looked for me but couldn't find me or something. So I dunno. But I was a little rude I think. And then I think I said you guys got there pretty late and he said yes bye. And so that made me think he was mad. And so I wrote him and told him I was sorry for being bitchy and he didn't reply so I thought he hated me. Ha, because I overreact all the time when friends don't talk to me or act a little weird and I think they hate me. Im pyscho but I think it's because I don't have tons of buds so the few I have I expect to talk to me all the time and not ever see me and not talk to me or get online and not talk to me and stuff. So I always think something is up if they don't do those things. And then I end up looking dumb because it's something simple or something I just didn't know about that made them do that. Yea, that's what Brian's thing was. He was at the hot tub and Mark wanted to get online so he quickly said bye so I wouldn't get mad. And I thought he was upset with me. Haha, like I said I am weird.

So anyway, after I emailed Brian stuff Mary was going to bed and I wrote Jesus back an email and then went to bed too. Then this morning I got up and Mary went to church and I went home. When I got home I slept until 4 and finally got up and helped Mom do something and then got online and then got off and called Brian and talked to him a bit and then got ready and went with Mary to what I thought was Tim's show tonight at some cafe in Mary's church right in front of my house. But it wasn't he told me a while back that he wasn't playing there anymore but he was going to be there but I forgot. But he was there and we sat with him and talked to him the whole time. His buddy that played the other night played there. It was a little boring but it was okay. We were only there for like an hour. Then Gabe came and got us and took me home and then I jsut got online aorund 9:30ish. And I have pretty much been online since then. I don't even know what I have been doing all this time. Ha, wow that's a long time. I talked to Mary a lot. I was going to help Brian with something but he didn't need my help. I talked to Kirst some on the telephone earlier and online a bit too. I talked to Sonny some. That's about it. I looked at diary templates and stuff. Read people's diaries. Talked to Mary a bunch more. Wrote a couple emails I think. And I've been listening to my headphones all night. But wow, that's a very long time. Oh well.

I dunno what else to write about. My fingers are starting to hurt. I could write about what I remember from last week and weekend. Ummm. Friday Kirst came home with me I know. Deven came over and then we went to a show at a place called the Frenzy and saw Death After Texas and My Own Sky and another band. Mr. and the Near Misses I believe. It was a good show. The best I have ever seen dat play. So that was cool. Kirst had never seen them and neither had Dev. Mary wasn't there. It was her mommy's birthday. And she was going to go anyway but Kirst didn't want Dev to give her a ride so she didn't go. Ummm after the show we went to Denny's.

Saturday we went all around to different record stores and stuff. We ate at Chick-fil-a I rememeber. Haha, Deven said something funny I remember. She was going to make a U-Turn or something and she was like I gotta go I gotta go before everyone and their moms come. Ha, it was funny. Cause there were a bunch of cars coming cause the light up a little further turned green for them. But anyway, that night was homecoming. I was going to go. Mac was going to be my date. Haha, but then he didn't want to anymore and no one that I would hang out with or anything besides like Mary who would hang out with everyone was going. So since Kirst wanted to go to the Finch show and Dev wanted to also we were going to go there. I don't listen to Finch really. I have one of their CDs though. Someone gave it to me. Allyse stole it though and I got it back that Friday cause I wanted to listen to them a bit before I went to their concert. But I didn't really end up listening to the CD and we didn't end up going. Kirst had a ticket from Laura but Dev and I didn't. we went ot get one Saturday but they were all sold out. So that sucked I guess. We went out to eat at Chili's and went and saw Treasure Planet at Mugs'n'Movies though. Which was just as good to me. Haha. I love Chili's and I liked the movie. It was cute. I like Mugs'n'Movies also. But after the movie we just went back to my house and they stayed the night there again. Oh, but we attempted to stalk some boys on our way home I do remember. But it didn't quite work out as planned. Haha.

Sunday morning Deven went home. Kirst spent Sunday with me. I think it was the superbowl. We rented Blue Crush. During half time mom took us to Kirstie's and we stayed there that night. We watched the movie. It was okay. Nothing great really. The ending sucked too. But oh well. Then Monday was school and I went. Then Tuesday I didn't go. And Kirst was mad cause she wanted me to go to Evolution with her cause she wanted to buy her As You Wish shirt and buttons from Jonathan. But she didn't because I wasn't there. So since I am so great and I was at Remax cause I was staying at Jen's that night...Mom let me drive to Remax too from Tropical Smoothie hehe...I went over there and got her stuff for her. Then I went out to eat with Jen and grandma and dad. Which wasn't very interesting or anything but it was okay. Dad didn't really bother me any. I just don't like being around him. So I didn't care to be there. But it was fine. Then I stayed over Jen's that night. And I didn't go to school Wednesday. Kirstie was going to kill me I think. Haha, my other friend Mary didn't mind much cause she was home herself with tonsilitis or something weird like that.

I went home Wed. afternoon and then I was going to go to school Thursday but I never finished my project. But Jesus picked me up that morning and we went to his house and finished my project and stuff and ate ravilolli and then he took me to school for like 6th and 7th period. So I didn't mind school really that day. And Kirst got her stuff. I went home with her from school and hung out with her for a couple hours and then went home. Good times.

I truly am wordless. Haha, I can't think of anything else to write about. But I still have a couple hours before I need to be ready. Maybe I will go do my homework. Good plan. See ya.

-Brittany

"...You're two floors down getting high in the back room, If I flooded out your house, Do you think you'd make it out? Or would you burn up before the water filled your lungs..."

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